3A has come to an end. In retrospect, it feels like I would’ve endured much less pain by being a drunk matador who not only wears red clothes, but also dyes his hair red.

1. Thermodynamics and Heat Transfer

So we learnt that when CSI arrives at a crime scene, they model the dead human body as a cylinder of water. Then we had to assume that properties were independent of direction or location. Then we had to assume that since the magic number (Biot number) is less than 0.1, we can do some random calculations that spit out the number of seconds the person might have been dead for. We also learnt that sometimes, the magic number is greater than 0.1 and in that case, we assume it’s 0.1 and proceed with the calculations anyway. And then we learn to assume that our answer is not off by more than 50% and go back and confirm our assumptions. None of it makes sense because by the time the calculations are done, the body would have been dead for an extra few hours and the killers would be sipping martinis in Jamaica.

So many assumptions, so little understanding. This course is worst course they could ever shove down our throat and it doesn’t deserve to be learnt by anyone on this planet.

Overall grade: Biot number of 0.1

2. Systems Models I

As soon as you have a prof who’s named “Savage”, watch out. Forget about the Linear graph theory and state equations we learnt all term, the most challenging part of this course were the DEFINITIONS. It didn’t matter what students did: clone the textbook, make up their own stuff, be brief, or write a paragraph. For any effort put in, the assigned mark was a big ZERO. Only those who stapled $100 bills to their cover page and included half a litre of blood were assigned a 1, randomly. To top it off, the “text” was written by the same prof and I use the term “text” very loosely because it could very well be confused with the HTS (Handbook To Insanity).

Overall grade: fundamental cutset equation #7

3. Kinematics and Dynamics of Machines

I’m pretty sure I never heard this prof say a coherent sentence without stumbling and stuttering. It was almost like listening to English, that is almost English, but not quite English. Concepts learnt in this course: The graphical method of solving force vectors was so painful and messy, a typical solution looked like a side view of a beheaded porcupine. Most of the course focused on 4-bar mechanisms with absolutely no emphasis on design of mechanisms. Then there were some concepts on a bunch of rotating masses going bananas and how we can bring them in static and dynamic balance by adding more masses, something I didn’t quite bother learning. And finally, how to sketch cubics accurately on graph paper.

Overall grade: -2 degrees of freedom

4. Microprocessor Systems and Interfacing

This course totally redefined low-level understanding of bits and bytes that keep computers running. To summarize: every computer on this planet is based on clocks which allow computers to synchronize data and make sounds. Synchronization can a pain and hence, it is easier to train monkeys to send data back and forth. There were countless timing diagrams, sequential diagrams, and formulas to memorize (which we were not tested on, thankfully) for every bloody chore a computer performs including arbitration, DMA, and downloading porn.

Overall grade: 800 PowerPoint slides requiring 80000 seconds.

5. Actuators and Power Electronics

The only course that made sense because I didn’t do as poorly as I did in the rest of them. What we learnt: transformers are the basis of life, if they weren’t around, we’d still be using laptops by candlelight and watching TV on a diesel powered generator with a hand crank for manual recharging and physical stimulation.

Overall grade: 640/120 V Transformer.

Three more study terms to go. If this trend continues, I will distribute flyers that promote Psychology, Sexuality studies, and MADB (Mothers Against Drinking Beer).